Before we went away you might remember I posted that we had thought we might try and get Jiggy into school for at least part of the week. I really felt the need to understand his behaviour better and could not replicate the group social and academic conditions at home in order to see how he would behave if we put him back into mainstream. Also, to be honest, we had really hit a wall. He can be incredibly uncooperative and to be successful I am sure that home education requires an element of team work, at least now and again! I also felt that as he was getting older he would need our relationship to be simpler. Being Mum to teenagers is about as much as either party can take I think – adding teacher in to the mix was, I felt, going to be really challenging.
Anyway, he is now doing a couple of days a week flexi schooled with very little drama. He argues with his brother of course who is also at the school but then, hey. Yes, it is early days but this first month has been surprisingly easy all things considered. School want him in more often and I can see no real reason not to now that we have established that he can access the curriculum, should he feel like it, without medication or legions of support workers. Frankly, I could do with the break too. I like to think that the few years at home have in some way contributed to this but I am far too old (wise?) or cynical, to start making claims like that at this early stage in the game. He did come home last week asking what one might have to do to be expelled…
In the meantime and in order to grease the creaky wheels of any possible transition to secondary school next year we are pushing on along the ridiculously long and winding road to proper FASD support from the only specialist clinic in the country and today, 14 months into the process, we have been to clinical genetics in order to rule out any other reason for his particular and thankfully rather unusual blend of behavioural quirks. I was expecting a bit of an in and out session (and all sorts of drama around blood testing) but was wrong on both counts. The consultant actually knew about FAS, properly, and it only took two adults to get enough blood. Jig doesn’t look particularly FAS although his behaviour is a perfect match and that is pretty much what they confirmed today – most likely diagnosis ARND either with or leading to ADHD. No surprises.
However, what has made me falter slightly is the fact that as we came in (as a group, this is school holidays after all) the consultant mistook Titch for the FAS child he was expecting to see… We know – because like most parents in our position we are well read on this subject – that Titch has more of the FAS features than his big brother and he does have learning difficulties but his behaviour is just fine and so I guess we had let the reality of it fade somewhat. Does it matter that he is so obviously FAS? Should we maybe do more, do something else, change things somehow now that we have two FAS boys and not just one? Because Titch’s behaviour is so normal, his difficulties not social or physical but merely educational I wonder why I feel as though this is big news, but I do.
While I manage this news I must say that I did love how they reacted to the genetically correct assumption today that they weren’t brothers. They paused a minute and then both threw their heads back and laughed. Although they know their different stories and their origins, they thought he was joking. What a team!