Imagine if each time your child asked something from you, either by using words, behaviour, emotions or whatever means of communication they have available you were able to respond by doing what actually felt right to you, what felt good in your heart and soul, what you knew was the right thing to do even if it flew in the face of absolutely all the advice that was out there. Imagine if we trusted ourselves to make those parenting calls because we genuinely believe ourselves to be the expert and to have the right to act on that belief and because we know our child and we are the ones with whom the ultimate responsibility for this childhood lies. Imagine if, having thought hard, listened well and carefully and taken time to learn how to trust our own judgement we simply, quietly, did what was right for our child every day. Every time they came to us, however that happens, we looked them in the eye and said “I love you, I am holding you safe, I’ve got this, I think I have an idea and we can try it together”.
It may well mean that you don’t conform on occasion. You will probably begin to challenge all manner of assumptions and cultural rules, you will become noticed. What will also happen is that other people like you will see you. They will move towards you and greet you. Pretty soon there will be a small group of you and then, maybe, a larger one. And then the system that isn’t really working (whichever one it may be) might begin to lose power and become responsive. It might become human simply because you are. Imagine all the people….