Mayhem and Stardust

We are the proud parents of, amongst others, Jig, who has a handsome collection of diagnoses (ADHD, AD, FASD) which probably mean nothing and a generous smattering of fairy dust which probably counts for everything. School was a huge challenge and so we decided, probably rashly, to move to the country and home educate him. No medication, no 'support', chickens, space, a farm on the doorstep and a beach nearby. What could possibly go wrong?

Be careful what you say…

I heartily subscribe to the theory that you need to be careful what you wish for, and that your thoughts make your reality and so maybe I should have been more careful when I restarted this blog a few days ago…

His school is trying their best to make sure that they do the best for him but in the end, they do have to consider the impact of him and his unique approach to life on the others around him. I am called into school about two or three times a week to try and work out how we can all best work with Jig (that’s code for “to listen to what he did wrong that day”) yesterdays phone call should not have felt any different but it did. Maybe it was my own slowly dawning realisation that our square peg child just was not going to be accommodated in any sort of square hole.  We have argued to the point of legal action with Cornwall, I have made nearly 50 separate contacts with them in the past two years and despite 6 separate assessments, all who find that he needs to be referred to the next level up (whatever that might be) it just doesn’t happen.  I have one last iron in the fire (well two, if you count actually hiring a lawyer) which relies on the Adoption Support Fund being manipulated in a way that it wasn’t intended to be in order to fund an NHS assessment at the FAS clinic in Surrey.  Talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul…

So, school called.  The conversation began in the same way but I found myself sitting back in my swirly chair and raising my hands.  “Stop a minute, lets just stop a minute.”  So we did.  We stopped talking about how my rather wonderful little Jig needed to change and we began to really, properly talk about where he really should be that would support and develop him. Yes, the outcome is that we will slowly remove him from mainstream again and no, we don’t know exactly where we will go instead – but for me the moment that I took total responsibility for him, regardless of the failings of the appalling system and chose to follow my heart was a tiny little revolution. Let them all be useless.  Let the LA fail in every possible way.  We are stepping sideways and it feels GOOD!

Don’t misunderstand me – it is so very wrong that we don’t have any sort of reliable system in place for supported our vulnerable adopted children and it is catastrophic that parents are left to fend for themselves in the way that they are.


But just for the moment I feel a warm glow.  A sense of excitement and pleasure that we might yet have a chance to avoid the trauma that mainstream is likely to be for Jig. A little track has become open to us and I have no idea where it might lead but it feels as though we should take a careful step forward – and take care what I blog about!


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