Mayhem and Stardust

We are the proud parents of, amongst others, Jig, who has a handsome collection of diagnoses (ADHD, AD, FASD) which probably mean nothing and a generous smattering of fairy dust which probably counts for everything. School was a huge challenge and so we decided, probably rashly, to move to the country and home educate him. No medication, no 'support', chickens, space, a farm on the doorstep and a beach nearby. What could possibly go wrong?

The Simba version

For the last eight years we have been telling all of our adopted children pretty much the same adoption story. “The people who made you (name and name) loved you very much but they couldn’t care for you so the judge had to decide what to do.  She thought about it for a very long time and decided that Mummy and Daddy loved you so much too and could keep you safe and so we would be your forever and ever Mummy and Daddy”  We wait for the next questions and answer them as and when they arrive, thus hoping not to overwhelm with uncomfortable information but not hiding anything either.  It is a bit of a balancing act but we were congratulating ourselves recently on this albeit small success.

Then Moo, placed with us at 7 months and now 7 years old, explained her adoption to a friend of ours. “My first parents weren’t married so they weren’t allowed to keep me.  The judge took me and held me up and said “who wants this baby” and Mummy and Daddy said they would take me so here I am…”

How did our carefully crafted explanation become such a scrum?  How did she become a small lion cub held over the edge of a rock for all to see? I am fascinated that she has absorbed such an outdated social judgement (certainly not from us) and added her own touch of drama to a story that she has heard over and over again and yet I am also well aware that this is exactly how she feels about it and am in awe of her ability to translate that feeling into such clear words.  Of course she felt like a cub on a cliff.  It is EXACTLY what she was.

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4 thoughts on “The Simba version

  1. I’m not sure if I should have laughed out loud at Moo’s description, but I’m afraid I did! Amazing how our carefully crafted explanations get mangled and elaborated. I recently took a foster child to an adoption activity day. I explained carefully to my son what I was doing. On the day, he asked me where I was going, so I asked him to tell me, since I was sure he remembered. “You’re going to the Mummy Shop to get a new mummy for baby!” was his reply! Where did I go wrong?!

  2. I’ve spent a while this morning reading back through your blog and have really enjoyed it. I love your writing!

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