Mayhem and Stardust

We are the proud parents of, amongst others, Jig, who has a handsome collection of diagnoses (ADHD, AD, FASD) which probably mean nothing and a generous smattering of fairy dust which probably counts for everything. School was a huge challenge and so we decided, probably rashly, to move to the country and home educate him. No medication, no 'support', chickens, space, a farm on the doorstep and a beach nearby. What could possibly go wrong?

3 Minute March

Continuing the theme of concentration, one of our goals for this year was to get better at sitting quietly and doing a task.  Sitting quietly means not talking or making any other sort of noise, it means not moving out of the seat.  It means focussing on the task in hand and actually doing it.  We started in January with one minute as a goal, February was two and here we are in March.

Three minutes seems like a tall order right now but none the less, here we are and so did two.  In order to practise this sort of concentration we have begun simple meditation exercises recently.  There is nothing to lose when we both sit quietly and together, listening to some carefully filtered guided mediations.  I think that most parents of adopted children come to a realisation, at some point, that they are effectively on their own.  That even the best support and advice in the world doesn’t parent your challenging child.  You do.  Resourcing yourself becomes absolutely essential to both of you.  Putting your own oxygen mask on first is an unavoidable necessity and yet somehow feels like a luxury. It really isn’t.  Achieving calm may well be one of Jiggy’s goals but in order for that to be even slightly likely I must be peaceful first. There are days when that is as unachievable as three minutes of focussed and productive activity but that doesn’t mean we don’t keep practising.  We are both getting there.

Anyway, we are now in minute 12.  We did not achieve the task but we have achieved being in a seat for all of that time. We did not achieve quiet but he did not speak words for over three minutes in a row.

It is only just March after all.


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