Love me when I least deserve it –
– it’s when I need it most. So says a Swedish proverb. Quite wisely. I am considering having it put on a T shirt to remind me that days like these are just as valuable as calm and productive ones as they give us the opportunity to address some of the influences that make Jiggy who he is and to continue to respect all of him. I am not sure if I can still blame Christmas for the rocky road we are currently travelling but there is no doubt that Jig’s internal noise levels are currently really high. The ‘noise’ that sensory overload or chaotic connections make must be horribly distracting. We think we know what his noise sounds like, his individual play sessions are a continuous battery of spits and shouts and hisses and growls. A clunking rattling sound like being in a ships engine room. Its no wonder that it is hard to concentrate. Or to be quiet. Or pay attention to anything that doesn’t itself create enough noise to drown out the background cacophony that I understand is the backdrop to his waking hours. Another son of mine has had tinnitus following a spell on active service abroad and is old enough to describe the stress of internal noise. I am quite sure that Jiggy’s scrambled thoughts are just as stressful, his newly acquired physical twitchiness is evidence enough, and it is my job to remember that and be kind whenever humanly possible. My current approach to our days together, where good humour and calm feature on every days target list is not just for his sake, it is to remind me too.