Guess work and gum shields
One of our biggest concerns about keeping Jiggy in the bubble that we have built here at Treguddick is that he doesn’t have the same access to his peers that other children do. We don’t know if that is a good thing or not. The fact that something is, slowly, working for him in that he has long stretches of his week where he is calm and quiet and productive may indicate that something is working but we don’t really know what. We slot in with after school games and social arrangements made for the other two a couple of times a week and we are going to add a more formal day at Forest School this term – without me this time. We have a session a week with the local home ed group and we have added mini rugby recently which has got off to a shaky start but hasn’t failed yet. He comes to parks and parties with us, of course. The problem is that every social event that he attends requires some artistry, a preparation, a watchfulness that isn’t necessary for the other children. Each one also requires us to be a little bit brave, both on his behalf and on ours. We are all judged, to a degree, by the company we keep and our children’s behaviour. We see people’s faces close, their arms fold and their feet tap far more often than we see them smile and step forward and we need to learn how to incorporate both reactions into our family’s experience of the world. Both reactions to his behaviour are valid and both understandable – they are both true at the same time. Such is the conundrum of complex childhood behaviour. Such is the reality for him and we have no clear idea how to prepare him to face the world and its social intricacies without us. Its all guess work.